This blog was "born" the day I drove home from the hospital after being induced to birth my 15 week old baby boy when I was 21 weeks. He was only here for a moment but he changed mine and my husbands and children's lives forever. Leaving him at the funeral home and driving home without him shattered my life. We also had a previous loss of our 6-7 week old baby girl, I delivered her at home when we lived in our RV at 12 weeks. I wanted to honor them both and reach others with this blog. So many women suffer from infant loss, yet don't feel like they can talk about it. We are blessed with three living children, the youngest is our rainbow baby girl between our losses. They each deserve to have their stories told too because their stories are "our" story. They have each molded me and my husband from the moment they were a + on that pregnancy test.
In my most recent pregnancy I had a blood test that eluded to me having an issue with my thyroid. This scared me as I have been very holistic for about 5-6 years. The idea of needing medication freaked me out. By the time it was discovered though, it appears, that our sweet baby was already resting with Jesus. So here I am, a precious baby lost and a questionable thyroid issue, waiting on a diagnosis.
I have also been researching the issues that come along with having breast implants, many of which are autoimmune disorders. Thyroid issues can also be an indication of autoimmune disease. I've known for a few years that I should have these implants removed, but the timing hasn't been right. However, now, it seems like a true neccessity. For my long term health and for the success of a future rainbow baby, I need to take the journey to remove these implants and detox from them. As you follow along in real time, this is the journey I'm on and I love and appreciate any and all prayers that you may send my way.
My prayer for this blog is to bring myself and my family to a place of healing. But most of all, I want to share our story so others can find healing, answers and compassion. I'd love to hear from you in the comments or messages if you have questions, fears or experiences that are similar and just need someone to talk to.
Stay tuned as I write and learn how to blog. This is my first attempt at this but I feel that I'm being called to do this for myself and for you. For all of the lost babies, for the Mama's who couldn't or didn't get to see your precious baby and for those who have suffered in silence, I pray this brings you honor and peace.
And to my heavenly Father, I pray I can honor you with my words, please speak for me Lord, it's in Your name that I dedicate this blog.
"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need"
For Hannah Ruth and Elijah Daniel, Mommy loves you endlessly and I count the days until we are together again. Know you are loved with a love that is unbreakable.
You are welcome to keep coming back here to see new content. However, a better option is to subscribe to my newsletter! You will get updates on new posts and special content that is only available to my subscribers.